okay, so today the little monster in the peacock costume laid a HUGE egg today. all over. everything. after going through a 1/2 pack of wipes and 2 diapers, I decided to stick her in the bathtub. here is our conversation for your enjoyment:
Me: Don't drink that. It's poopy water.
Rosie: *pretends to puke on her Minnie Mouse toy*
Rosie: MUAHAHAHA I'M THE BAD KING AND YOU ARE AN UGLY GIRAFFE
Me: ...um...thanks...
Rosie: You are my mommy.
Me: No. I am your sister. Don't tell people that I am your mommy because technically I am old enough to be. Sadly.
Rosie: You funny.
Me: Thanks....
Rosie: People are weird.
Me: You are a people, too.
Rosie: NO I'M THE BAD KING I'M NOT A PEOPLE. You people, Luke people, Sam people, Lilly people, Mommy people, Daddy people. Those people (points to soap bottles). Everybody people.
Me: Except you.
Rosie: No, I'm a people, too. Smokey (our black cat) is the bad king now.
Me: When do I get to be bad king?
Rosie: Some people are scary.
Me: Like Freddy and Jason?
Rosie: Yeah. They have orange hats and sing scary songs. Scary people are scary.
Me: *puts another dollar in the therapy jar* Right..... orange hats? Like sombreros?
Rosie: What do you like?
Me: I li-
Rosie: You like purple.
Me: I do like purple:
Rosie: Sing Never Ever Together.
Me: *begins to sing*
Rosie: MAKE IT STOOOOPPPP. Mommy, you are bad. Bad King. Go sit on the potty.
Me: okay 1) I am not your Mommy and 2) No. I'm the freakin' Bad King. I don't take orders from peasants.
Rosie: Read Sneetches on the Beaches.
Me: Fine. *reads Dr. Suess' The Sneetches and other Stories*
Rosie: Who is Jason?
Me: Ask Dad.
Rosie: My fingers are pruny. My toes pruny. My belly pruny. My fat cheeks are pruny. (proceeds to denounce every body part as pruny)
Me: Yep. You're pruny alright.
Rosie: Put more water in.
Me: No.
Rosie: Paint my nails.
Me: No.
Rosie: Go away.
Me: No.
Rosie: Bring me a snack.
Me: No.
Rosie: Get me out.
Me: Okay. *wraps her in a towel and takes her to her room*
Rosie: Becca, you are a boy.
Me: No, I'm not a boy.
Rosie: Fine, you are a fat doggie.
Me: ...thanks...
Rosie: *starts sobbing*
Me: What's wrong??
Rosie: DON'T EAT MEEEEEE!
Me: I'm not going to eat you.....
Rosie: *stops crying and smiles*
Me: ....today.
Rosie: Boys can't eat Rosies
Me: Yes they can.
Rosie: Check it, bro.
Me: What did you just say?
Rosie: SEE YA SUCKAA *takes off naked* I'M A NAKEY NUT!
Me: aye aye aye
Rosie: *comes back* Becca will you Pirate Hair (side ponytail) on me?
Me: After we get your clothes on.
Rosie: Can I wear my babing suit?
Me: No.
Rosie: I'm hungry.
Me: Why don't you eat.... THE COLD HARD GROUND *pretends to piledrive her*
Rosie: *laughing uncontrollably*
Me: *carries her upsidedown to the bathroom*
Rosie: *immediately grabs hairspray and a nearby razor and pretends to shave* HEY LOOK I'M DADDY!
Me: Let's not.... *puts stuff away*
Rosie: You are a bad Bad King. I Bad King now. You are Mufasa.
Me: Okay. Hold still!
Rosie: *commences in Gangnam Style dance*
Me: How do you know how to do that?
Rosie: How do dogs breathe?
Me: Touche...
Rosie: How you do ballet?
Me: Magic.
Rosie: You are a Bad King.
Me: Yes! Go fetch the coach, poor insignificant peasant!
Rosie: HAHA you funny.
Me: Thanks, girlfriend.
Rosie: I love you.
Me: I love you, too.
Rosie: You look like Mother Gothel.
Me: Magic.
Rosie: You are a Bad King.
Me: Yes! Go fetch the coach, poor insignificant peasant!
Rosie: HAHA you funny.
Me: Thanks, girlfriend.
Rosie: I love you.
Me: I love you, too.
Rosie: You look like Mother Gothel.
