Friday, November 2, 2012

Tales from the Bathtub

okay, so today the little monster in the peacock costume laid a HUGE egg today. all over. everything. after going through a 1/2 pack of wipes and 2 diapers, I decided to stick her in the bathtub. here is our conversation for your enjoyment:

Me: Don't drink that. It's poopy water.

Rosie: *pretends to puke on her Minnie Mouse toy*



Rosie: You are my mommy.

Me: No. I am your sister. Don't tell people that I am your mommy because technically I am old enough to be. Sadly.

Rosie: You funny.

Me: Thanks....

Rosie: People are weird.

Me: You are a people, too.

Rosie: NO I'M THE BAD KING I'M NOT A PEOPLE. You people, Luke people, Sam people, Lilly people, Mommy people, Daddy people. Those people (points to soap bottles). Everybody people.

Me: Except you.

Rosie: No, I'm a people, too. Smokey (our black cat) is the bad king now.

Me: When do I get to be bad king?

Rosie: Some people are scary.

Me: Like Freddy and Jason?

Rosie: Yeah. They have orange hats and sing scary songs. Scary people are scary.

Me: *puts another dollar in the therapy jar* Right..... orange hats? Like sombreros?

Rosie: What do you like?

Me: I li-

Rosie: You like purple.

Me: I do like purple:

Rosie: Sing Never Ever Together.

Me: *begins to sing*

Rosie: MAKE IT STOOOOPPPP. Mommy, you are bad. Bad King. Go sit on the potty.

Me: okay 1) I am not your Mommy and 2) No. I'm the freakin' Bad King. I don't take orders from peasants.

Rosie: Read Sneetches on the Beaches.

Me: Fine. *reads Dr. Suess' The Sneetches and other Stories*

Rosie: Who is Jason?

Me: Ask Dad.

Rosie: My fingers are pruny. My toes pruny. My belly pruny. My fat cheeks are pruny. (proceeds to denounce every body part as pruny)

Me: Yep. You're pruny alright.

Rosie: Put more water in.

Me: No.

Rosie: Paint my nails.

Me: No.

Rosie: Go away.

Me: No.

Rosie: Bring me a snack.

Me: No.

Rosie: Get me out.

Me: Okay. *wraps her in a towel and takes her to her room*

Rosie: Becca, you are a boy.

Me: No, I'm not a boy.

Rosie: Fine, you are a fat doggie.

Me: ...thanks... 

Rosie: *starts sobbing*

Me: What's wrong??


Me: I'm not going to eat you.....

Rosie: *stops crying and smiles*


Rosie: Boys can't eat Rosies

Me: Yes they can.

Rosie: Check it, bro.

Me: What did you just say?

Rosie: SEE YA SUCKAA *takes off naked* I'M A NAKEY NUT!

Me: aye aye aye

Rosie: *comes back* Becca will you Pirate Hair (side ponytail) on me?

Me: After we get your clothes on.

Rosie: Can I wear my babing suit?

Me: No.

Rosie: I'm hungry.

Me: Why don't you eat.... THE COLD HARD GROUND *pretends to piledrive her*

Rosie: *laughing uncontrollably*

Me: *carries her upsidedown to the bathroom*

Rosie: *immediately grabs hairspray and a nearby razor and pretends to shave* HEY LOOK I'M DADDY!

Me: Let's not.... *puts stuff away*

Rosie: You are a bad Bad King. I Bad King now. You are Mufasa.

Me: Okay. Hold still!

Rosie: *commences in Gangnam Style dance*

Me: How do you know how to do that?

Rosie: How do dogs breathe?

Me: Touche...

Rosie: How you do ballet?

Me: Magic.

Rosie: You are a Bad King.

Me: Yes! Go fetch the coach, poor insignificant peasant!

Rosie: HAHA you funny.

Me: Thanks, girlfriend.

Rosie: I love you.

Me: I love you, too.

Rosie: You look like Mother Gothel.


  1. Ahahaha that's great XD I love little kids, they're so funny

  2. Hilarious! Update more posts pleeeeease!